The business world is no place for “ghosting.”
As seen in U.S. News | October 10, 2017
The business world is small – and with the help of social media, it is getting smaller every day. In a time when most of us will need to work for 40 years or more, it is critical to build a strong network of people who think highly of you (not just your work or your results). At some point, most professionals will be offered an opportunity that just isn’t right for them. While “ghosting” may be the easiest move in online dating, it is a terrible strategy for parting ways with a potential employer. Here are strategies to decline an offer without burning a bridge.
Trust. Modern research shows that our “gut feeling about someone” is based on if we can trust and respect them. It is highly likely that a potential hiring manager trusts and respects you if she is writing you an offer. Rule No. 1 of building a great network is “establish and maintain trust.” The best way to do this when turning down an offer is to discuss your reason for declining directly with the hiring manager. This means actually calling the manager and being polite (but honest).
You can say things like, “Thank you so much for offering me the position. While I would really enjoy being part of your team, the compensation is 10 percent lower than what I would need to make a move at this time.” Or, “Thank you for the generous offer to join your company. I am very interested in the position – however, I was offered another opportunity that seems to be a better match for my current professional goals.” Or, “Thank you for the offer. I would love the chance to work for you but I don’t feel the requirements of the role are an ideal match for me.”
Based on the reason for your decision to decline, select a response that is appreciative but politely specific. If you truly like the people you met, don’t be so absolute that you cut off all potential future opportunities with that employer. Here is an example of what not to say: “Thank you for the job offer. I don’t think your company is doing very well financially so I’m scared to take the job.” Or, “You don’t pay enough – I can make more somewhere else.” Or, “Your online reviews are terrible and the team seems poorly managed. I don’t want that kind of environment.” While all those things may be true, you are insulting the manager (and definitely burning a bridge). Based on current labor statistics, workers are likely to move to a new company every four years or so – this includes recruiters and managers. If you liked that recruiter or manager, you may like the role they have at the next company better. If you insult them now, you will never get the chance to see what other positions they have in the future.
Honesty. Do not make up a reason for declining a job offer. Here is a recent example. A senior vice president of sales spent three weeks interviewing a candidate for a sales role. The SVP even extended the offer in person to make sure he could answer any questions and to reaffirm how enthusiastic the team was about hiring the candidate. The candidate, however, sent the SVP an email the next day saying, “Thank you. I am declining because I may have to relocate.” The SVP emailed and called the candidate to better understand what that meant, and to see if something could be worked out – but the candidate never responded. Two weeks later the candidate updated his LinkedIn profile to show he took a different job in the same location.
The SVP was disappointed the candidate declined, but he moved on to interviewing other candidates later that week. Had the candidate been honest, the SVP would have maintained the impression that the candidate was a talented employee – it just wasn’t the right time or offer for him. Now, the SVP has no choice but to think the candidate was dishonest, poor at networking and even a little wimpy – hardly the traits you want in a sales professional. The offer could have been declined but the bridge did not have to be burned. With LinkedIn, it has never been easier to see career moves (and locations). It is best to be honest – because the lies usually come out at the worst times.
Be a good connection. Talk to any seasoned sales executive and he will tell you about the business he won because he made “lemons out of lemonade.” In other words, he maintained relationships with people who didn’t buy from him the first time, but bought from him at a later time or sent him referrals because he showed himself to be a good connection.
This happens in the job market all the time – a great reputation will beat out most everything else when hiring. Strive to maintain a relationship after declining a job offer by sending business or candidate leads. People with high integrity, sincerity and honesty make great employees. If you are good at what you do and you are a good connection, managers will seek you out again. Nothing beats a strong network when it comes to making the most of your career.
